Sunday, 20 January 2008
Falling out of love
This is my theory: when you really love someone and you give them your all, if for whatever reason you have to stop loving them - be it divorce, or they break your heart, or whatever - a part of you has left you forever. A part of you remains with the person you loved and cannot be retrieved again. As a result you're never the same person again. I've seen this first hand with people so if this sounds soppy or "romantic" (it probably sounds a bit depressing actually) then I welcome alternative theories. What happens when you fall out of love?
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4 comments:
Assalaamu'alaikum,
I will comment on this from my own experience.
Falling out of love is the worst feeling that you will experience. When you're in love, the world looks different and all you feel is poetry. At least that is what I felt. When you fall out of love, that rare, deep intimate side hasn't gone completely. It's lost in a chasm within you, and that fashions the remaining character and personality. Your other half takes the 'lost' part of your personality with them; and what you were remains with them... until, or if, you genuinely fall in love again with a different person. Nonetheless, it won't be the same as your first love. You will be wiser in your next relationship and may be sparing with your love, out of fear that it may too, one day end.
I have filled my time with personal pursuits and I am re-evaluating my life and pondering what's more important? Love and companionship with a spouse, or happiness and contentment in serving the Deen of Allah (swt). I know that a loving marriage will help in this as it completes one's imaan; but sometimes I feel it's not worth marrying, especially in contemporary society whereby relationships are too intricate and every variable is interpreted to mean something by both partners. Just living a solitary life, serving the Deen of Allah (swt) is good enough.
Having said that, I think love can last forever, if the roots of love are maintained, through intimacy and keeping the flame of love burning. This is what joins souls together and it sheds unnecessary, superficial complexities within a relationship. Love has a life and journey of its own, and it does not need the interference from life's artificialities.
Anyways, I think I've answered your question in the first paragraph, from my own experience that is.
Assalaamu'alaikum.
Wow anon, masha'Allah.
May Allah keep you steadfast on His path. Ameen. Really the one who can do that, the one who can find complete satisfaction with Allah subhana wa ta'ala then let it be known that Allah is pleased with them.
Actually i think im going to continue with this topic on my blog. Thats ok right Saabirah?
assalamoalaikum
anonymous, jazakAllahkhayrn for that analysis....it made me think for sure
when i was younger i could never understand how people get divorced even though they have children to gether and many years of history
now i am older and wiser , i do understand how people fall out of love, but for some reason i still feel in todays society with its western hollywood influences people jump to divorce too quickly...
after all is "love" in its deepest level necessary to maintain a muslim family struggling to achieve Allah's pleasure. Or is it sufficient to love for the sake of Allah as you would love your sisters and brothers in islam?
Assalaamualaikum,
I am the first anonymous commenter. I'll refer to myself as H, to make the flow of comments easier to follow. I have been trying to find a website with Hadith that I once heard, and Alhamdolillah I have found it. I have quoted a Hadith from the following website: http://www.islaam.com/Article.aspx?id=562
"Anas (radhiallahu `anhu) said that a man was with the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam), when another man passed by. The first man said, "O Messenger of Allah, indeed I truly love this man." The Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) asked him, "Have you let him know that?" He said, "No." The Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) said, "Tell him." He caught up with him and told him, "Truly I love you for the sake of Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala)," and the man said, "May Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala) love you who loves me for His sake." [Reported by Abu Dawud, with a sahih isnad]"
Now, if we love another, for the Sake of Allah, then Allah will love that Person or People even more; and thus Allah will increase the love between the people so that they continue to love each other for His Sake. And this cycle continues. This is the same for societies, and married couples and so forth.
Alhamdolillah - Allah's Bounty and Mercy in unlimited.
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