My friend http://hema.blogspot.com/ took these notes for me at the adab class as I was doing the Price of Salvation.
DATE: 27/04/07
Continuing with hadith/athar: Kulayb ibn Manfa’a said: “My grandfather said, ‘Messenger of Allah, towards whom should I be dutiful?’ He said, ‘Towards your mother, your father, your sister and your brother. Then towards your relative, the nearest to them. This is an obligatory duty and those ties of kinship must be maintained.’”
Our rights are first and foremost to our parents, due to their high status and importance.
After that, we have a duty to be in contact with, and in the service of, all of our extended family, whether they are practising or not, whether they are Muslim or not.
Maintaining ties of kinship is important as we are promoting key characteristics of the believers, such as love and mercy and confidence in one another. It also eradicates hatred and anger. All this ensures that a standard family unit functions in the best way possible.
We should think of the people we are in contact with in our families and ask ourselves why they are part of our lives. It should only ever be for the sake of Allah, and not for our own benefit.
The Ulema have stated that there are three potential scenarios which may lead to attaining paradise through our ties of kinship. Firstly, by maintaining ties even when the person you are maintaining ties with breaks away. This is the highest level. Secondly, by “getting even”. E.g., if someone calls you, you call them next time. If they buy you a present you buy one for them etc. Finally, where the other person does more than you do to maintain the tie of kinship. You will not enter paradise through this method.
This is an important lesson we can learn. Allah states that He is not swifter in punishment to anyone than those who break ties of kinship. For this purpose, we should endeavour to learn our lineage and family history so we aware of even the most distant of our relatives.
The title name “the obligation of maintaining ties of kinship” is revealing, as it shows that Imam Bukhari wished to make it clear from the start that maintaining ties IS an obligation. The details can be filled in later.
The hadith states we are obligated to be dutiful to our mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters and then our relatives and those nearest to us.
Although this hadith is weak, it can be used for this purpose as it is not very weak and as long as we say it may not be directly from the prophet, peace be upon him.
The rights of our brothers and sisters, in particular are often neglected.
There are two types of brothers and sisters. The first is our brothers and sisters in deen, and we have a general sense of loving and wanting to fulfil our rights to other muslims.
But our highest priority should always be our direct family. In particular, when advising or teaching others, we should always start with out nearest relatives.
The prophet, peace and blessing be upon him, maintained ties of kinship even with the non-Muslim family members who tried to harm him. So, imagine the rights and obligations our Muslim family members have.
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