OK it IS a fact that women do get oppressed. It is a fact that people get oppressed. It is a fact humans sin. When humans sin they either infringe on the rights of Allah and/or the rights of creation. This can be in the form of abusing someone, stealing someone's property, vandalising, oppressing etc. When men oppress women, they are wrong, they are not giving them their due rights, they are sinning, plain and simple.
Those who don't care that they are sinning i.e. they aren't religious have their own excuses for meting out their oppression, abuse, injustice and those who are religious will have their excuses too. The good and honest of them will put their hands up when they realise they've done wrong and repent. Those who are too pig-headed, stubborn and arrogant will be like the one who can't give up smoking or listening to music and look for every excuse in the book (whether that's their warped interpretation of the Qur'an or a twisting of a fiqhi opinion) to carry on with his sinning.
Why am I going into this? Cos I'm sick and tired of this trend of bashing men because they're men. I get tense when I read sisters - i.e. female MUSLIMS- dangerously discussing whether in Islam women get a raw deal, whether Allah has a'oothubillah been unjust in His perfect Shari'ah. I'm not speaking as someone who's just heard of women who are mistreated, a by-stander. Close friends of mine and family have been treated like crap by men, I've seen it, wiped their tears etc. But what good would I acheive having a chip on my shoulder about men? If I am a cynic as a result of men mistreating women am I actually doing good to myself or even damaging the perpetrators of injustice (if I wanted to be vengeful)? Or am I damaging myself and potentially damaging my future relationships? Not only that, if I go online and spread my victimised feminist da'wah the least I'm doing is putting fear into by-standers and making them cynical "men are all dogs" feminists, but worse, I'd really be treading on thin ice with my Lord if I did what some of these sisters do, by saying things that equate to "women have it bad in Islam".
With the risk of sounding like I'm bashing men myself - but I have to be fair - I do have to say men are not absolved from blame for this. Many of these women do not bash just because it makes them feel good; there is background and a context why they feel wronged. But many a time, it's difficult to see WHY these sisters are complaining, what exactly they are complaining about and with the attitude of criticising Islam a'oothubillah, frankly, the reasons cannot be heard due to the moaning and ultimately begin to matter little.
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Finally a breath of fresh air!
Do you not think though, by venting anger at the general population of Men, attributing it to the stereotypical rights of women in Islam; they are demonising men and Islam, as I'm sure you've agreed somewhere in your post.
I have learned of Muslim women that are cold and abusive to their husbands; but I will not paint the rest of the female Muslimah with the same brush.
Anger and emotion are perfectly understandable. But to then conclude that the rights of women in Islam are unbalanced is a sign of lack of knowledge.
Many women have beautiful marriages, because they understand their Islamic rights and seek marriage with men that know the rights of women in Islam.
Lack of 'proper' knowledge and guidance has its consequences for both parties. Consequences not in the simplest form, but the complex form (which would turn out to be an essay).
We live in a World where people seldom care for others, and they will twist and misinterpret rights and responsibilites for their own gains. We must trust in Allah (swt) and his guidance, if we seek it.
"Anger and emotion are perfectly understandable. But to then conclude that the rights of women in Islam are unbalanced is a sign of lack of knowledge."
I meant by those that are oppressed.
Fact: men love women.women love men
Its the way of the world and its motion and no ocean could keep them apart.....Except the Qadr of Allah. Oops thats not how the song goes!!
Maybe its a defence mechanism for some who want men in their life but can't so its easier just to pretend you dislike them.
Alhamdulillah as muslim we don't despair although its easy to lose perspective, as long as there is a good woman out there then have faith there is a good man cos the tayibah with the tayibaat. and the same goes for khabitha for the khabithaat.
For people to blame Islam for anything, for any of their life experiences is a scapegoat as it means they don't have to look at their own shortcomings. With everything look to your ownself first. For every oppression there is a story to tell and lessons to be learnt for the individual. Affliction doesn't befall anyone except that it is good for them. Its easy to blame the other party, but wallahi deep down inside you know exactly why its happened and you know that things have got to change within yourself in order to bring a change to your situation.
By the way, i don't think there are many good men out there except for a handful, but i also dont think there are very good women out there with the exceptional few. We are living in dire times. And the Qur'an tells us 'A multitude of those (foremost) will be from the first generations. And a few of those (foremost) will be from the later generations. 56: 13-14.
Like i say you got to be a sahabiya to marry a sahaba! hmm still yet to ask that question to a scholar. If an unmarried woman enters Jannah does she get to marry a man of her choice in Jannah, as in any sahaba.........
Ok totally digressed! sorry im just trying to create some controversial air!!
Brother khalid you said, 'I have learned of Muslim women that are cold and abusive to their husband'
Maybe they were pregnant women....
Just a thought ya'ani...
Sister anonymous (I take it you're a sister?)
Actually the women were not pregnant at all. The women that I referred to just flew off the handle at the drop of a hat. And the husbands just absorb it all like sponges.
And some of those women have a degree of 'Takaboor' (pride and self elevation) in them; they would literary look down at people. That kind of thinking should have gone out with slavery... Some men are like that too.
To continue the above into a separate issue …
Islam has a very advanced and 'humane' perception of the World. Islam perceives no such hierarchies. We people, manage to distort it.
I see this kind of attitude in Asian Muslims than any other ethnic origin. They become British or American citizens, then hold themselves above their own relations back home.
And when they become doctors, barristers, solicitors and civil engineers and so on… Boy, you should see the read-out on the Takabur-ometer. They wouldn’t even spit on anyone that didn’t register on their so called ‘calibre’!
Do they need reminding of the DIRT that they originally came from back-home in Pakistan, India or wherever?
Khair…
May Allah(swt) make us ‘noble’ so that we may unite the Ummah.
Assalaamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu sister,
Mash'Allah great post! Women have to stand up for themselves more and if they are being mistreated go to the Imam and try to sort it out. If not, Allah made divorce lawful for a REASON! Many of the female companions divorced yet subhan'Allah you find muslim women today saying"i'm gonna be patient." Next thing you know, they are beat unconsious. Subhan'Allah we have to wake up and look out for ourselves!
Same for men.......if you are being abused seek out the imam to help you out. If it doesn't improve.....again, ALLAH made divorce lawful if you have a REASON. There are dozens of hadiths that state how the companions divorced and remarried.
People make the religion much more difficult than it is.
You're right Ummyusuf. Islam is perfect. If we perceive there to be imperfection/injustice etc, it is merely our own misguided perception and the whispers of Shaytan who tires to take advantage of a vulnerable person in a fragile situation. If we realise this then we don't have to "twist" the Qur'an/sunnah to fit in with what we think is correct/just.
JazakumAllah khair for your comments.
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